_Daughter like Esther.
In the book of Esther we are told that her father and mother had died. While my biological father did not die, the relationship did.
As I have mentioned in other posts, I felt many feelings towards my father- Abandonment, unimportance, disinterest, anger, indifference and sadness just to name a few.
But isn't God great?
He works with what we have. He didn't wait until my feelings changed. All of those feelings I just listed still remained when I reached out to my Dad last Easter. Some of those feelings still remain today, but not nearly at the intensity that they were a year ago. That is the amazing thing about grace. If you choose to give it to someone else who doesn't deserve it, you let go of the feelings that held you back without even addressing them individually. This is why I think God has a name as Counselor. The other amazing thing about giving grace to someone who didn't earn it is that it allows Jesus to shine. In order to make a serious difference in this world, we have to do something that is seriously different than what we see in the world. I would also like to say it is good to focus on progress, not perfection my friends. If we waited until the perfect moment- there never would be one.
This photo is a picture of 3 Christian books that relate to 3 specific medical conditions that my father has been diagnosed with. The first one I have shared since it is the biggest part of our journey together but the other 2 will remain hidden for his privacy.
I found these books when I was at the church bookstore looking for a devotional for him...…..funny how God wanted to work on me rather than me trying to work on my Dad....
While it is certainly foundational to obtain an understanding about a person's diagnoses it is just as important to gain insight on how to love that person with that diagnosis. Sometimes we have to change the way we love in order to make it more effective.
While our relationship is far from perfect, I am just praising God since I can honestly say it is a miracle that it even exists.
The letter pictured here is a 10 age poem my Dad wrote for my brother and I. Sometimes I forget that he has feelings too. And that his feelings are just as real and valid as mine- even though they differ. This poem reminds me that he too is on his own journey, we just happen to be sharing the road together. This too, I will keep.
_Daughter like Esther.